Funny Answer Machine Sayings

Funny Answer Machine Sayings for a Birthday, Spouse, Family or Friend

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FUNNY ANSWER MACHINE SAYINGS
Funny Answer Machine Sayings for any occasion
These sayings are not all exact quotes nor can we verify who actually coined each of them. Use these sayings for entertainment purposes only. Copyrighted sayings will be removed upon written request from the rightful owner.

-Hi! John's answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator. Please speak very slowly and I'll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets.

-Hi, I'm not home right now, but my answering machine is, so you can talk to it instead. Wait for the beep.

-A is for academics, B is for beer. One of those reasons is why we're not here. So leave a message.

-Please leave a beep at the message.

-Hello. I'm home right now but cannot find the phone. Please leave a message and I will call you back as soon as I find it.

-"Hello. I am David's answering machine. What are you?"

-"If you are a burglar, then we're at home cleaning our weapons and can't come to the phone. Otherwise, we probably aren't home and it's safe to leave us a message."

-"You're growing tired. Your eyelids are getting heavy. You feel very sleepy now. You are gradually losing your willpower and your ability to resist suggestions. When you hear the tone you will feel helplessly compelled to leave your name, number, and a message."

-Hi, I'm not home right now but my answering machine is, so you can talk to it instead. Wait for the beep.

-Hello, this is Sally's microwave. Her answering machine just eloped with her tape deck, so I'm stuck with taking her calls. Say, if you want anything cooked while you leave your message, just hold it up to the phone.

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