Funny As Hell Sayings for birthdays, family or friends
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FUNNY AS HELL QUOTES
Sayings for any occasion
These sayings are not all exact quotes nor can we verify who actually coined each of them. Use these sayings for entertainment purposes only. Copyrighted sayings will be removed upon written request from the rightful owner.


-The road to hell is paved with works-in-progress. Phillip Roth

-Finish last in your league and they call you Idiot. Finish last in medical school and they call you Doctor. ~ Abe Lemons

-Poets are the unacknowledged legislators of the world. ~ Percy Byshe Shelley

-Snowmen fall from heaven... unassembled. ~ Author Unknown

-If you are going through hell, keep going. Sir Winston Churchill

-I love to go to Washington, if only to be nearer my money. Bob Hope

-I grew up with six brothers. That's how I learned to dance -waiting for the bathroom. Bob Hope

-Middle age is when you still believe you'll feel better in the morning. - Bob Hope

-The good news is that Jesus is coming back. The bad news is that he's really pissed off. Bob Hope

-If variety is the spice of life, marriage is the big can of leftover Spam. Johnny Carson

-Anybody who watches three games of football in a row should be declared brain dead. Erma Bombeck

-A word to the wise ain't necessary. It's the stupid ones who need the advice. Bill Cosby

-Human beings are the only creatures that allow their children to come back home. Bill Cosby

-Ballet: Men wearing pants so tight that you can tell what religion they are. Robin Williams

-Ninety eight percent of the adults in this country are decent, hardworking, honest Americans. It's the other lousy two percent that get all the publicity. But then, we elected them. Lily Tomlin













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