Happy Birthday Messages for a Birthday, Spouse, Family or Friend. Sayings for any age.
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FUNNY BIRTHDAY SAYINGS
Happy Birthday Thoughts for any occasion
These sayings are not all exact quotes nor can we verify who actually coined each of them. Use them for entertainment purposes only. Copyrighted quotes will be removed upon written request from the rightful owner.

We spend our lives on the run: we get up by the clock, eat and sleep by the clock, get up again, go to work - and then we retire. And what do they give us? A bloody clock. - Dave Allen

I refuse to admit I'm more than fifty-two, even if that does make my sons illegitimate. - Lady Nancy Astor

The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age. - Lucille Ball

If I were younger, I'd know more.- James Barrie

Old age is no place for sissies.- - Bette Davis

We do not count a man's years until he has nothing else to count. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Men, like peaches and pears, grow sweet a little while before they begin to decay. - Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.

I have everything I had twenty years ago, only it’s all a little bit lower.- Gypsy Rose Lee

Age is a question of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter. - Satchel Paige

Age seldom arrives smoothly or quickly. It’s more often a succession of jerks. - Jean Rhys

Youth is the time for adventures of the body, but age for the triumphs of the mind. - Logan Pearsall Smith

True terror is to wake up one morning and discover that your high school class is running the country. - Kurt Vonnegut

People are too durable, that's their main trouble. They can do too much to themselves, they last too long. - Bertolt Brecht

Those who cannot remember the past will spend a lot of time looking for their cars in mall parking lots. - Jay Trachman

The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume knob also turns to the left. - Jerry M. Wright

If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments. - Flip Wilson

I do not believe in an afterlife, although I am bringing a change of underwear. - Woody Allen

I would like to find a stew that will give me heartburn immediately, instead of at three o clock in the morning. - John Barrymore

One should never trust a woman who tells one her real age. A woman who would tell that would tell anything.– Oscar Wilde

“Don’t let ageing get you down. It’s too hard to get back up.” - John Wagner, US born British writer“

At middle age the soul should be opening up like a rose, not closing up like a cabbage.”

“As you grow old, you lose interest in sex, your friends drift away and your children often ignore you. There are other advantages of course, but these are the outstanding ones.” - Richard Needham, British politician.

A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman’s birthday but never remembers her age. - Robert Frost US poet

“Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest.” - Father Larry Lorenzoni

“for all the advances in medicine, there is still no cure for the common birthday.”

“Age is something that doesn’t matter, unless you are a cheese.” - Billie Burke

 










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