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REDNECK SAYINGS & QUOTES
Things a Redneck would say
These sayings are not all exact quotes nor can we verify who actually coined each of them. Use these sayings for entertainment purposes only. Copyrighted sayings will be removed upon written request from the rightful owner.


He who laughs last probably doesn't understand the joke.

If everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane!

If I want your opinion, I'll ask you to fill out the necessary form.

If rabbits feet are so lucky, what happened to the rabbit?

If the Lord had meant us to fly, He would have given us aluminum skin.

If you lie to the computer, it will get you.

If you see an onion ring - answer it!

I just love the smell of cow dung in the morning. - - Dane Peddigrew

Redneck Pickup Line - Ford or Chevy?- - Dane Peddigrew

The light at the end of the tunnel is probably an oncoming train.

You can always tell a Texan, but you can never tell him very much.

You may be a redneck if . . . you have spent more on your pickup truck than on your education. -- Jeff Foxworthy

That's 'bout as dum as a bag 'er bricks.

Bobba/ A person who provides men's haircuts.

He'd bitch if you hung him with a new rope.

I'm bowed up like a Halloween Cat.

Don't let the door hit ya where the good lord split ya.

She's as useful as a tit on a boar hog.

Don't you make me open a can o' whoop-ass on ya.

She's uglier than a bucket full of armpits. Bless her heart.

He fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down.

He ain't but a fart in a wind storm.

Slicker than a harpooned hippo on a banana tree.

If everything is coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane!

Don’t worry too much about it. Just do all you can do and let the rough end drag.

If rabbits feet are so lucky, what happened to the rabbit?

If the Lord had meant us to fly, He would have given us aluminum skin.

You couldn’t hit a bull in the butt with a bass fiddle.

If you see an onion ring - answer it!

You may be a redneck if . . . you have spent more on your pickup truck than on your education.

She’s uglier than a bucket full of armpits. Bless her heart.

He fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down.

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak. 

He who laughs last, thinks slowest. 

Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.

Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool. 

The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong. 

If you lined up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try to pass them, five or six at a time, on a hill, in the fog 

The things that come to those who wait will be the things left by those who got there first. 

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat all day drinking beer. 

Flashlight: A case for holding dead batteries.

The shin bone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room. 

A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well. 

When you go into court, you are putting yourself in the hands of 12 people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.












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