It's all my mothers fault.

Never put off until tomorrow what you can avoid all together.

If you don't know where you're going how do you expect to get there?

Artificial Intelligence is no match for Natural Stupidity.

Aim Low, Reach Your Goals, Avoid Disappointment.

Be nice to your kids . . . they'll be the ones choosing your nursing home.

TEAMWORK...means never having to take all the blame yourself.

Bacteria is sometimes the only culture some people have.

The shortest distance between two points is under construction.-Noelie Alito

Make scrapbooks, not dinner.

If life gives you lemons, throw them at someone.

i'm special, you're not, get over it.

Under pressure, lumps of coal turn beautiful.

You can always find happiness at work on Friday.

Boldly going nowhere.

All true wisdom is found on T-shirts.

My dad is a Lifer. - - Dane Peddigrew

Nothing personal, but surfing is not the sport for you.

What's the worst that could happen?