Witty Sayings for a Happy Birthday, Love and Old Age. 50th, 40th, 30th Birthday Sayings
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Witicisms for any occasion
These sayings are not all exact quotes nor can we verify who actually coined each of them. Use these sayings for entertainment purposes only. Copyrighted sayings will be removed upon written request from the rightful owner.

The real trouble with reality is that there's no background music.

House Guarded By Shotgun 3 Days A Week. Guess Which Days.

Sarcasm helps keep you from telling people what you really think of them.

If you think things can't get worse it's probably only because you lack sufficient imagination.

Advice for the day: If you have a headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle: Take two, and KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN.

Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.

Notice In a Rome laundry: Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time.

If you cannot convince them, confuse them.

Act your age, not your shoe size.

You can go anywhere you want if you look serious and carry a clipboard.

Those who have guinea pigs never have to throw out any vegetables.

If you wear a silly hat, everyone knows who you are.

Never turn your back on a charging turtle.

Shooting yourself in the foot is actually a lot less fun than nearly anything else.

The more you understand, the crazier you get.

Don't believe everything you read in comic books.

Save the whales. Collect the whole set.

You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.

Remember half the people you know are below average.

If at first you do succeed, try not to look astonished.

This isn't burger king, you can't have it your way.

125 x 125
125 x 125

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